lovely

i just had to post one of jenifer's senior pictures. (i got permission to.) she's gorgeous and i'm really proud of the woman she's becoming. hopefully she's seen and learned from my mistakes to skip all that nonsense and continue blooming.

still here

i do fall off the blog planet every now and then. i need to catch up with my proverbs posts, which i will do over time. this month has been a little hectic and there hasn't been much time to sit down and write.

this semester is close to being over, which means i'll be a little MIA, but once it's officially over, i'll have enough time to breathe.

a few things that have been going on:
          • i visited my family about a week ago and took my sister's senior pictures. i'm still in the processing of editing them, but she's gorgeous.
          • during this visit, i attended levi's best friend's (dylan) wedding.
          • the past week i've been going to school at 9, finishing class at 5, going straight to work, and coming home at 11. let's just say i'm exhausted and suffocated with homework.
          • last night i was told that my gramps passed away. i broke down pretty bad, but he was suffering for a long time with multiple things and i know it's much better for him now that he's with Jesus. i love my gramps and i'll miss him, but he's happier now.
          • i'm going to be a kid wrangler/kid swing for edmond summerstock's production of peter pan and i'm pretty excited. i'll be learning all the tracks for the kids and i can't wait.
          • i auditioned for edmond's upstage theatre's forever after parties a few weeks ago. forever after parties provides disney princes and princesses for hire to appear at children's birthday parties. i was called back for rapunzel, anna, tinker bell, wendy, and alice. the audition went really well and i'll hear back from them at the beginning of may. fingers crossed.
          • my sister is in costa rica right now for her senior trip/missions trip. so proud of her. send prayers for my sister and her team as they show and share God's love.
          • for anyone who knows me, you'll be surprised that i am enrolled for a second year at UCO....i know, it's weird. two years at one school? who does that... me now, i guess! i'll still be striving towards my music theatre degree and i'm hoping to graduate the fall of 2016.

i think that's all the updates i have for right now. i'll be posting proverbs posts every now and then so be on a lookout for those. thanks to everyone who reads these. i know it's mainly my mom and her friends, but that's cool. i appreciate you guys.


jrw

proverbs six

on april sixth i read proverbs chapter six.

short and sweet on this one.

16-19

there are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:

haughty eyes,

a lying tongue,

hands that shed innocent blood,

a heart the devises wicked schemes,

feet that are quick to rush into evil,

a false witness who pours out lies

and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

jrw

proverbs five

on april fifth i read proverbs chapter five.

now, solomon is speaking of the dangers of adultery. while everything he says is true, this doesn't quite speak to me in that way. i'm not trying to take things completely out of context, but i chose a few verses to point out.

11-14

at the end of your life you will groan,

when your flesh and body are spent.

you will say,

"how i hated discipline! how my heart spurned correction!

i would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors.

i have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

23

he [man] will die for his lack of discipline,

led astray by his own great folly.

life is scary. there is a whole lot of responsibility staring us right in the face every day. God gave us authority here on earth and He desires for us to obey that authority. that's being teachers, instructors, coaches, parents, elders, lawmakers, the president, etc. we have all these people that we are meant to listen to and obey. yes, we don't all share the same morals and beliefs...that's fine. we are still responsible for acknowledging that, although we are all equal humans, these people are above us in authority. it's hard for me to write this because i don't agree with the majority of what obama is doing while he is in office, but he is the president of the united states and i'm required by my Father to submit to my authority. that doesn't mean i have to agree with everything obama says or is, but it's my responsibility to acknowledge obama as my authority and submit to the laws of the land. it's still hard for me to write this.

none of us want to be destroyed by our own stupidity in life. that's what verse 23 is talking about. being led astray by our own folly. folly: lack of good sense, foolishness. in other words: being dumb. there is no time for us to rebel our authority here on earth. there is no time to follow the prince of this world into the crooked paths of evil and ruin. we are here for a short time and we don't want to be before God and see our lives being crumpled by our own stupidity. it's simple, but it's hard. i don't like or agree with all of my teachers (okay just one...) but that person is still my teacher and i still have to accept them as my authority. seriously, guys....this whole post is hard for me to accept and type! life is hard. God never intended for life to be a breeze. you now why? so we could see that we need Him. it's as simple as that.

i don't know what more i can say about this. dish in with your comments. this is a hard topic for everyone.

jrw 

proverbs four

on april fourth i read proverbs chapter four.

king solomon continues to speak of the amazing importance of wisdom in this chapter and for good reason. we need it! i can't even stress that enough. i fall off the path every so often and i forget to hold wisdom near my heart, but that isn't any excuse for someone else to follow my ways. follow the ways of the wise, follow the ways of our Savior.

7

wisdom is supreme;

therefore get wisdom.

though it cost all that you have,

get understanding.

that last part is what i have the most trouble with. getting understanding... i sometimes forget how important it is to understand others around me. i don't know what they're going through. granted, we as humans aren't perfect and never will be in this body, so we have limits to ourselves, but we always need to strive to understand situations and understand those around us. as hard as that truly, truly is.

20-27

my son,

pay attention to what i say;

listen closely to my words.

do not let them out of your sight,

keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

put away perversity from your mouth;

keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

let your eyes look straight ahead,

fix your gaze directly before you.

make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.

do not swerve to the right or the left;

keep your foot from evil.

alright, not only do we have the task of keeping wisdom in our hearts/minds and maintaining understanding of others, we have to keep on the path to righteousness. no paths to evil, corruption, temptation, wrong doing. well, we deal with this every single day. we make choices every second of our lives. it's hard to continue on the right path, the path that lives to a Godly life. there is so much to say about what to stay away from, but that's up to the individual person. only they know their temptations and hardships to overcome. so let me throw this thought out there: stay away from unhealthy people. now i don't mean don't ever talk to them or be a shining star for God. heck no, keep doing that! these people may need Him the most. what i'm saying is, for us to continue on our paths to righteousness, we need to guard ourselves, as well. there are some people (we've all had them in our lives) who constantly drag us down or bring us to their level. i am living proof of that. you may be trying to share the gospel with them, but sometimes we aren't quite strong enough to keep ourselves above water. growing up, i was always taught that if you stand on a chair, it is easy for a person below you to pull you down and it's a lot harder to pull that person up onto the chair with you. it happens every day. even if it's as simple as someone's mood being awful, it can rub off on you too and cause your day to be dreadful. God wants us to share Him with every single human being that we can, but He also wants us to remain healthy in Him and sometimes that means detaching yourself from certain others. this person may be your best friend, but if you struggle with remaining in Christ because of what this person does or how they act, you need to distance yourself from them. there are times where we need to look after others and there are times where we need to look after ourselves. keep that in mind. i could ramble about this all day. i transferred a college to get away from unhealthy situations for crying out loud. it's important. take care of others, but take special care of your spiritual life.

jrw

proverbs three

on april third i read proverbs chapter three.

these verses are amazing and very encouraging for this certain point in my life.

3-4

let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

this is simply a great reminder that my faith needs to live with me every second of every day. the same with love. yes, we may not all like everyone, but we are called to love everyone. it's hard at times, but we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. it's important that we remember that.

7-8

do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord and shun evil.

this will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

i just love this because it's what i was saying in a previous post. even simply reading a few verses a day made me happier. i let the Lord in and shape my heart for His glory. even that can strengthen you and give you nourishment. we can diet, we can cleanse, but nothing can compare to the spiritual health we receive when we are walking with God.

jrw

proverbs two

on april second i read proverbs chapter two.

these verses continue with my last proverbs post.

1-5

my son, 

if you accept my words and store up my commands with you,

turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,

and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God.

10-15

for wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

discretion will protect you,

and understanding will guard you.

wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,

from men whose words are perverse,

who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways,

who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,

whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.

21-22

for the upright will live in the land,

and the blameless will remain in it;

but the wicked will be cut off from the land,

and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

wisdom is powerful.

jrw

proverbs one, philippians two

i'm rewinding a little bit to catch up on my proverbs readings.

april first i read proverbs chapter one. the verses that stuck out to me the most were 20-22. 

wisdom calls aloud in the street,

she raises her voice in the public squares;

at the head of the noisy street she cries out,

in the gateways of the city she makes her speech:

"how long will you simple ones love your simple ways?

how long will mockers delight in mockery

and fools hate knowledge?"

God's wisdom is one of the greatest treasures we could have, yet we ignore wisdom daily. even if it's only in our hearts. this passage speaks to me in the area of hard heartedness. i have a case of that every so often when i'm tired, stressed, and overwhelmed. i become irritable and less friendly. i ignore wisdom and let my own rude thoughts consume me. why? it doesn't make me happier. it doesn't accomplish anything. why can't i simply listen to wisdom and grow as an adult? letting wisdom into my heart and mind will give me peace, understanding, and happiness. it seems so simple, but it really is very hard. some days you want to let your grouchy mood take over and not deal with anything, but that will only cause unhappiness and heartache to you and anyone else who is a witness of it. i want to grow spiritually and mentally through the wisdom God grants me. we all need to consider how listening to wisdom can affect us for the better. 

in my devotional time, i also read philippians 2:14-16.

do everything without complaining or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation,

in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..

this spoke wonders to me when i read it. as believers, our main goal is to shine for Christ. is it not? shine for our Father and preach His name. i take this passage to heart. it's such a conviction for me. i do complain a lot and although i don't necessarily argue, i know there are times where i should hold my tongue. and isn't it interestingly sad to see how the world was crooked and depraved even 2000 some years ago? our world will never get better, i can tell you that right now. world peace? what a joke. the devil is the prince here and he will destroy this world until it's last days. let's not get sucked up into this earth. we don't truly belong here so what's the point in letting the devil rule us? shine for Christ! be the light in the utter darkness that satan has laid out. Christ is the word of life and we need to be the stars that shine for Him.

jrw

new journey

we’re all on a new journey. whether that be in school, in a career, at home. right now for me, my newest journey has been majoring in music theatre at the university of central oklahoma. i’m just now closing in on my first year at uco and it’s definitely been a wild ride so far. this is technically my third year of college. my freshman year was spent at northeastern oklahoma a&m college and my sophomore year was spent at ozark christian college. needless to say, i do believe i’m where i’m supposed to be now. all of those places got me to where i am today, which is wonderful, but now i’m really feeling my life begin.

there are still moments where i question my decision to major in music theatre. i had a freak out during last fall break where i wanted to switch to a major where i knew there might be more financial stability, but singing is my first true passion and i wouldn’t give that up for the world. i know that music theatre is where i shine and bloom, but i often think of what my life will be like in five or ten years. honestly, i probably won’t be doing a whole lot of performing and i’m okay with that. i’m currently dating the most amazing man, levi, and his first passion is enlisting in the army. i am behind him 100% of the way, no doubt about it. and i want to be with him wherever he is, which means in about five or ten years, i’ll probably be living on a military base with less opportunity to perform. i’m just fine with this. i will always have my voice and i know that God will provide opportunities for me.

so sometimes knowing this, i get into a slump at school. i get unmotivated and think ‘what’s the point?’ but i know i’m where i need to be for this moment and i need to strive to do my best every single day. recently, i’ve been a little moody and closed off. i’m naturally a introvert (ha, a music theatre major an introvert??) and that plus my loss of motivation, i’ve become an unpleasant person in my eyes. my friends may beg to differ, but only i know what’s really going on in my heart. that’s when i realized that God was really tugging at me. a few days ago, i began getting up early enough before class to make some coffee and read devotionals and my bible. i cannot tell you how much happier i’ve been throughout my days because of it! God is absolutely incredible. even just reading a chapter in proverbs a day or reading one single verse, my whole attitude towards school and life in general has changed for the better. on my morning journeys with God, i hope to share with you my thoughts on what i’ve read and just how awesome our Father truly is.

i also want to use this blog to ramble, possibly rant, and enjoy life. i have ideas in my head, dreams i’ve had, thoughts i’ve wanted to express and i want to use this opportunity to write everything out. i do think it will help me motivationally and also therapeutically.

if you’re on this journey with me right now, just hold tight because i can get a little distracted/absent at times. but i hope you enjoy my stories.

jrw

updated

i'm going to start this blog back up again. at first i wanted to delete my other posts, but they're just as important to me. so yes, there is about a year plus gap between posts, but just go with it. i'm a new me and i want to share my life with you.

at first my blog was called 'my radical abandonment' and i still want to pursue that mindset, but i wanted to change the title because i'm changing too. the girl in the picture still has a pixie cut even though i don't anymore, but i think it's cute so there's that. :)

jrw