1 corinthians 14:33

my mom recently introduced me to this facebook group called journaling bible community. thousands of women are members of this group with more being introduced by the hour. this is a group of Christian women who doodle all sorts of beautiful things in their bibles. some bibles are normal ones, but i was introduced to a note-takers bible, which has margins on the sides of the page big enough to write notes. i received my new bible a few days ago, but only had time today to work in it. many people choose a verse that pops out at them and then they draw, write, etc. whatever they feel God is speaking to them. it's really beautiful.

the verse that i chose is my favorite verse, which is 1 corinthians 14:33. this became my favorite verse when i was a junior in high school. my family moved to a small town called kansas, oklahoma where a ministry called cookson hills christian ministries is located. this ministry is a small Christian campus that offers help, hope, and healing to children and families in crisis. basically, if there are children/teens in trouble or are needing to be removed from a bad situation, they are placed at cookson into homes where strong Christian parents reside as house parents. you can read more about it here: https://www.cooksonhills.org/. my parents had grown up knowing and hearing about cookson through their churches and the same with me and my siblings. i wasn't the happiest 16 year old when we moved there, but my parents knew that God was calling them to join this ministry. i had a very hard first five months until i finally started to open up and make friends. cookson changed my life for the better.

there was a woman there named linda and she was my english teacher for the two years that i attended the school that was on cookson's campus. i remember i was having the absolute worst day any 16 year old could have and i walked into english where linda had written another verse on the board behind her desk. she did this every single day. some days the verses wouldn't make sense to me and some days they would. the verse that day made me cry.

"for God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." 

such a tiny, simple verse, but oh it hit me hard. i believe we all take this tiny passage for granted. do you understand it? God...your God...is not the author of confusion. God doesn't put the confusion, worry, and stress into your life. the ugly prince of this world does. God may see the bigger picture at times and we only see a portion, which can lead to confusion and question, but in the end we always see peace as the result. no matter what the situation may be. i've never been in a confusing state of mind or situation that has been left open ended or that has been crushed. it may be years down the road where i realize that, yes, i was brought peace, but the peace is always there.

i'm rambling, but this is so important to me. God is the pure Author of peace.

linda passed away quite recently and i still bless her to this day for bringing this verse into my life. linda was one of the most amazing women i have gotten the chance to know. she was such a strong believer and follower of Christ. she constantly encouraged me and every other person that crossed her path. she encouraged and prayed for my mom when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. linda was the one to tell my family and me that everything was going to be just fine because God was in control. she had His peace like no other. her passing was sudden and i was in shock, but the first thing that came to my mind was that God brought her the peace that she needed.


jrw

finding contentment

i've been attending life church and they just started a new series called #struggles. i really hate the title, but it does make sense. the series is about the jealousy, envy, self-consciousness, and every other negative emotion that comes with social media. while there are positives to social media, the negatives are what we don't see everyday or notice in our own lives. my social media struggles have been apparent to me for a while, so i know that God is wanting me to really pay attention to this series.

there are people out there (more than you know...maybe even yourself) who get on social media and then feel discouraged by what they see. maybe their house is bigger and nicer than yours, maybe her shoe collection is better than yours, maybe they seem to have a lot of money and you don't... things like this get under our skin sometimes without us noticing. well, i finally noticed and it's so true. i don't get depressed, but i do get frustrated at times to see someone's seemingly perfect life even though i know it's not that perfect. 90% of the time, that person you're feeling envy or negativity towards doesn't have a very perfect life. they're just as broken as any of the rest of us. even though i know without a doubt that i have a beautiful and loving family who is always there for me and stronger than ever, and i have the most loving boyfriend who i'm hoping to marry, and i have a great education, a roof over my head, clothes, a car... sometimes i still see someone else's life on social media and get frustrated. i think i'm more frustrated with the fact at how other people view this as the perfect life, when i see the truth. sometimes it's merely all about perception.

a few verses to start that sermon series were:

     2 corinthians 10:12 - we do not dare classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

     james 3:14-16 - but if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. for where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

     proverbs 15:15 - all the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has continual feast.

     ecclesiastes 6:9 - better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. this too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

     philippians 4:12-13 - i know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. i can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

that last verse always makes me nervous. so many take that last part and use it to the extreme and way out of context and so i'm scared to use it, but listen... when you keep it in context, it makes absolute perfect sense. paul explains that he has found the secret, the only way to be content, and that is through Christ who gives him strength.

i can only find true contentment through my Christ who gives me the strength. 

so i'm here to tell you that yes, i do struggle with some negative feelings while on social media, but guess what? God is in my heart and is telling me that with Him, i can be content. i don't need 100 likes on instagram and i don't need a thousand friends on facebook. these things haven't been issues with me, but they are very common with a lot of others. once i heard someone say that they would delete a picture if it got less than 11 likes. this is what society has gotten us to and it's sad. let's stand with Christ and find our contentment with him because listen...full and lasting contentment can ONLY be found in CHRIST. you may think having a lot of money makes you pretty happy. feel that tiny empty space in your heart and gut? that's where Jesus should be and only he can fill it. not money, not a big house, not the hottest boyfriend, not your family. only God.


jrw

much needed

i've been gone for a long while. the end of the school semester was just about as intense as anything, but i made it through just fine. i've also made a move to a new house and that was a journey all in itself! still working on unpacking and getting my room just the way i like it.

there are quite a few things going on in my life right now.

i turned 21 at the end of june and even before that i was putting my life into perspective, as i always do. but this time i made a definite choice. a choice i've been needing to make for a while. i'm stepping away from music theatre. this scares me so much, but i'm also thrilled about what's to come. in my life, music theatre has been the huge focus and goal for me. i stepped away once to try and sort my personal life out, but then i found myself as the lead in Singin' in the Rain! my heart is so drawn to this art and i will always cherish and adore it. but i'm growing up and my priorities are changing quite a bit. i'm realizing that, for me, music theatre is not practical for my future. i won't give it up completely. i'd love to involve myself in community theatres. i just know that in the end, all i want to be is a wife and a stay at home mom. that may sound cheesy, but i adore it. i want to be a good wife and loving mother. i realized that i don't need a degree in musical theatre to achieve that. what i do need is time. music theatre doesn't offer that up too often. i need time to work so that i can save up for my beautiful future. i will say that i am going to continue voice lessons with my wonderful voice teacher, Dr. Streets. my voice is very important to me and i know i have so much more to learn and grow.

i'll be getting my general studies degree, which also involves getting 36 hours in other academic areas. as i've gotten half of those hours out of the way with music, i will focus on taking business classes for future photography needs. i do plan on continuing my photography. i believe i can really make something of myself with the art. i want to turn into more than simply a hobby. so that's where the business classes will come in, and yes, i hope to take a few photography classes along with that. i will begin saving up for a new camera, because the one i currently own doesn't quite fit my needs anymore.

prayers are appreciated as i take on this new chapter of my life. i feel at peace with my decision and i'm definitely happy with the thought of a near-future graduation instead of not knowing when i'd be done. everything is with God and i truly feel that He is holding my hand through all of this.


jrw

lovely

i just had to post one of jenifer's senior pictures. (i got permission to.) she's gorgeous and i'm really proud of the woman she's becoming. hopefully she's seen and learned from my mistakes to skip all that nonsense and continue blooming.

still here

i do fall off the blog planet every now and then. i need to catch up with my proverbs posts, which i will do over time. this month has been a little hectic and there hasn't been much time to sit down and write.

this semester is close to being over, which means i'll be a little MIA, but once it's officially over, i'll have enough time to breathe.

a few things that have been going on:
          • i visited my family about a week ago and took my sister's senior pictures. i'm still in the processing of editing them, but she's gorgeous.
          • during this visit, i attended levi's best friend's (dylan) wedding.
          • the past week i've been going to school at 9, finishing class at 5, going straight to work, and coming home at 11. let's just say i'm exhausted and suffocated with homework.
          • last night i was told that my gramps passed away. i broke down pretty bad, but he was suffering for a long time with multiple things and i know it's much better for him now that he's with Jesus. i love my gramps and i'll miss him, but he's happier now.
          • i'm going to be a kid wrangler/kid swing for edmond summerstock's production of peter pan and i'm pretty excited. i'll be learning all the tracks for the kids and i can't wait.
          • i auditioned for edmond's upstage theatre's forever after parties a few weeks ago. forever after parties provides disney princes and princesses for hire to appear at children's birthday parties. i was called back for rapunzel, anna, tinker bell, wendy, and alice. the audition went really well and i'll hear back from them at the beginning of may. fingers crossed.
          • my sister is in costa rica right now for her senior trip/missions trip. so proud of her. send prayers for my sister and her team as they show and share God's love.
          • for anyone who knows me, you'll be surprised that i am enrolled for a second year at UCO....i know, it's weird. two years at one school? who does that... me now, i guess! i'll still be striving towards my music theatre degree and i'm hoping to graduate the fall of 2016.

i think that's all the updates i have for right now. i'll be posting proverbs posts every now and then so be on a lookout for those. thanks to everyone who reads these. i know it's mainly my mom and her friends, but that's cool. i appreciate you guys.


jrw

proverbs six

on april sixth i read proverbs chapter six.

short and sweet on this one.

16-19

there are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:

haughty eyes,

a lying tongue,

hands that shed innocent blood,

a heart the devises wicked schemes,

feet that are quick to rush into evil,

a false witness who pours out lies

and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

jrw

proverbs five

on april fifth i read proverbs chapter five.

now, solomon is speaking of the dangers of adultery. while everything he says is true, this doesn't quite speak to me in that way. i'm not trying to take things completely out of context, but i chose a few verses to point out.

11-14

at the end of your life you will groan,

when your flesh and body are spent.

you will say,

"how i hated discipline! how my heart spurned correction!

i would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors.

i have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

23

he [man] will die for his lack of discipline,

led astray by his own great folly.

life is scary. there is a whole lot of responsibility staring us right in the face every day. God gave us authority here on earth and He desires for us to obey that authority. that's being teachers, instructors, coaches, parents, elders, lawmakers, the president, etc. we have all these people that we are meant to listen to and obey. yes, we don't all share the same morals and beliefs...that's fine. we are still responsible for acknowledging that, although we are all equal humans, these people are above us in authority. it's hard for me to write this because i don't agree with the majority of what obama is doing while he is in office, but he is the president of the united states and i'm required by my Father to submit to my authority. that doesn't mean i have to agree with everything obama says or is, but it's my responsibility to acknowledge obama as my authority and submit to the laws of the land. it's still hard for me to write this.

none of us want to be destroyed by our own stupidity in life. that's what verse 23 is talking about. being led astray by our own folly. folly: lack of good sense, foolishness. in other words: being dumb. there is no time for us to rebel our authority here on earth. there is no time to follow the prince of this world into the crooked paths of evil and ruin. we are here for a short time and we don't want to be before God and see our lives being crumpled by our own stupidity. it's simple, but it's hard. i don't like or agree with all of my teachers (okay just one...) but that person is still my teacher and i still have to accept them as my authority. seriously, guys....this whole post is hard for me to accept and type! life is hard. God never intended for life to be a breeze. you now why? so we could see that we need Him. it's as simple as that.

i don't know what more i can say about this. dish in with your comments. this is a hard topic for everyone.

jrw